Can Sex Positivity change your life?
#sexpositive from Ooh by Je Joue
Sex Positivity is everything to us at Ooh. We believe in your pleasure and personal indulgence, which is why we want to help you achieve it, not only with toys, but with expert advice geared towards creating a healthy sexual attitude. But in a world of contradicting sexual opinion, what does really Sex Positivity mean? And could it change your life? We asked Ruth Neustifter some entry-level questions on the subject.
What does Sex Positive mean to you?
It means looking at sex and sexuality (and also related concepts such as gender) as one of many potential sources of health and healing, both for ourselves as individuals and within relationships.
Why do you think that Sex Positive is an important idea?
An inclusive concept of sex positivity views sex as something complex and diverse, something that is a potential source of strengths and joys rather than solely viewing it through a lens of shame, risk, and harm. It also encourages body positivity, playfulness, more acceptance of ourselves and others, and increasing conversations about sexual topics.
What changes would you like to see in the dialogue around sex?
I want to see more authenticity, growth, exploration, and kindness to ourselves and each other. I’d like conversations about sex to recognize that we all differ, even as we also often share experiences with some others, and that there isn’t one right way to experience sexuality.
From your experiences as a sex educator, what are the most common questions you’ve been asked?
I get lots of questions about “normal” appearance and functioning of various body parts. In press interviews, I sadly tend to get a lot of “how women can please their men” questions, which make me sad that we haven’t moved beyond this topic as a focus. And I also get many questions from people who are scared to that they may have an interest/desire for something less mainstream, and what that means for them and their relationships.
What are your five tips for a great sex life?
- Focus on what authentically pleases you, not what you’re supposed to be living up to for others. Then sex can consist of you inviting others to join you in what gives you pleasure and vice versa.
- Make time for sex and pleasure, and break the habits of shaming yourself about that.
- Don’t allow people in your life who are negative about bodies, genders, sexuality, pleasure, etc.–theirs or yours.
- Think of sex as play.
- Roll with how your life is going, and be kind and authentic with yourself; sex isn’t a race and you don’t need to be sexual at all, much less all the time.