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10 things a vibrator can do for sex between you and your partner

#sextips from Ooh by Je Joue

Creative advice from @girlonthenet about how to use your vibrator with your partner for double the pleasure and benefits!

valentines day date blog

If you have a vibrator, then you probably already know what it can do for you: more powerful orgasms, more efficient orgasms, just a hell of a lot more orgasms full-stop. A vibrator is to masturbation what ketchup is to chips: you could get by without it, but it wouldn’t be half as fun.

You know this already, though. How about in partnered sex? There are plenty of reasons why vibrators can enhance your sex life as a duo too – and some of them might just surprise you…

  1. Mix it up

For years magazines like Cosmopolitan have been racking their brains to invent new and interesting sex positions. Books like the Karma Sutra still sell in their hundreds of thousands each year. So it’s clear that when it comes to sex, humans enjoy mixing it up.

Bringing a vibe into your bedroom – whether it’s a small hand-held clitoral vibrator or an insertable g-spot vibe – opens up a plethora of pleasure possibilities (try saying that ten times quickly).

  1. Help you orgasm in new positions

Research shows that many women struggle to orgasm purely from penetrative sex, so if your sex life mostly involves penetration, you might find that after most shags you’re going home empty-handed.

What’s more, positions such as reverse cowgirl or spooning can be especially difficult ones in which to achieve clitoral stimulation. If you usually orgasm clitorally, then introducing a vibrator means you can get off in almost any position.

  1. Bring a unique new sensation into the mix

Let’s face it, there are some things that our mere mortal bodies can’t do. Vibrating is one of them. Anal vibrators can deliver something no individual could create on their own.

If your partner has a prostate, and they’re game for exploring its possibilities, a vibrating butt plug can deliver powerful vibrations in exactly the right place. There’s still some stigma around prostate play, which is a crying shame because prostate orgasms (yes, some people can orgasm purely from prostate stimulation) are a thoroughly pleasurable addition to sex. If your partner is keen to try them, invest in a great vibrating butt plug and enjoy the ride!

  1. Give an intense extra dimension

A vibrating butt plug isn’t just for use on its own (although naturally that’s fun too). Using a butt plug while you’re having sex gives you that amazing full-up sensation, stimulating nerve endings in your vagina and anus at the same time – some of which you may never even felt before. The fact that it vibrates adds an even more intense dimension to the fun, as your partner will be able to feel the vibrations through your vaginal walls.

  1. Help you put on a show

Naturally the main reason to do this is because it’s incredibly fun – watching your partner get off, or showing your partner how you get off, is like putting on a live, personalised sex show in your own bedroom. Dress up in something sexy if you like, or just pull your jeans down and go for it: whatever feels comfortable to you.

But on top of that it’s also a great exercise to help you better understand your partner’s pleasure – and vice versa. After all, even if they’re good at explaining exactly how they like things, explanation is never quite as detailed as demonstration. Watching your partner get themselves off with a vibrator will give you a sexy crash course in how to pleasure them next time. So settle back, relax, and take notes if you’re feeling studious.

  1. Last longer, have more orgasms

One of the benefits of vibration over simple manual dexterity is that battery-operated toys can keep going and going indefinitely. And more time equals more orgasms. Particularly for women who struggle to orgasm through manual stimulation or penetrative sex, bringing vibrators into the bedroom can be the difference between having a series of intense orgasms and having no orgasm at all.

  1. Introduce an element of control

‘Orgasm control’ is the practice of inducing or denying orgasms as a way to tease and deny a submissive. Perhaps not for everyone, but if you’re into BDSM then it’s certainly fun to explore.

With your partner tied up (or simply ordered to stay still), you can use a vibrator to tease them closer and closer to orgasm, denying them the pleasure of that final wave until the moment you decide they can come.

  1. Increase your muscle power

When you orgasm, your kegel (sometimes called ‘PC’) muscles contract. The strength of these contractions has often been linked to how powerful or pleasurable an individual orgasm is. It’s one of the reasons why so many women enjoy using insertable vibrators – the muscles contract around the toy as they orgasm, and for many it makes the sensation far more intense.

If you want to increase your muscle power, kegel sets can help you practise tensing your kegel muscles, to give you that extra boost in the bedroom.

  1. Bring you closer, even when you’re apart

You can use vibrators such as the app-controlled Dua even over a distance. So if your partner is away for the weekend, or simply on a night out, they can log in via the app and use it to create a pattern of pleasure for you to enjoy.

  1. Start the discussion

This point is the last on the list for a very good reason.

Some people are nervous about introducing toys into the bedroom – worrying that their partner might feel overshadowed by a battery-operated addition. So if you’ve got this far and you’re worried about what your partner might think, please share it with them. Hopefully when they see all the amazing reasons to introduce a vibrator into the bedroom, they’ll see that far from being a replacement for a partner, or something that would come between you, vibrators are amazing tools to help bring you closer together. They open up the discussion around what works for both of you – the pleasure you like and the new things you’d like to try.

What better way to start that discussion than to shop for vibrators together?